I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
