Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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