I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
