Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
