I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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