you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
