ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
