Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Drake has all the answers
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
