eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Randomize
