And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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