you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
