so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
