Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize