I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
