You can't special order awesome
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Actions speak louder than pants.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Randomize
