Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
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