dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize
