that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
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