If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize