First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Randomize
