could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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