If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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