We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
