I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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