Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
We are all done wearing pants today
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
