five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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