the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
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