i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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