Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
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