May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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