Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
