hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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