my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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