Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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