shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
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