this beer tastes like vomit already
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Actions speak louder than pants.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Randomize