More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
home. puking in laundry basket.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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