# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I wish life had little blips of pornography
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I am available for nakedness
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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