The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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