peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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