Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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