That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
