The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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