she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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