you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Randomize
