But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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