I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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