So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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