out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
