On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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