Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
