fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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