Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Randomize
