The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
