I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
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