I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
