well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
