You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
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