PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
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