wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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